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The rest is history…

She could have sworn she had put her favorite pen on her desk but it was gone. Where could it be? Could Jonathan have taken it? No, he wouldn’t do that and why would he need to use her pen when there were dozens of other pens in the house. Maybe one of the cats dragged it away. Jennifer sat at her desk looking at the piles of papers and notes and mail. It looked a little messy but there was a certain order to it and she knew where everything was. Usually. Her pen was not on the desktop where it was supposed to be. Of course she could have used any other pen but this this one was special. Jonathan gave it to her years ago and she did not want to lose it.
If it wasn’t on the desk then maybe it was in one of the desk drawers. It couldn’t hurt to look.
She opened the first drawer but there was nothing but pencils, notepads, scissors and a stapler. The second one was full of batteries, chargers, flash drives, cat treats and a cat toy in the shape of a fish. Drawer number three contained a bad of hard candy, chewing gum, empty folders, CDs and a small calendar from 2012. Still no sign of her favorite pen but she realized she should throw out some stuff and her pen was probably not in any of the drawers. She still had one more drawer to check though. Of course it wasn’t in there but she found something else. 3 books. One was a French to English dictionary, one was a cookbook which hadn’t helped her, she thought she was a hopeless case and would never be able to cook. The third book was a worn copy of Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. She hadn’t see it in a while but it was very important to her.
Jennifer took the book out of the drawer, leaned back in her chair and looked at it.
It as old and the corners were bent a little but it brought back a very special memory.

It must have been 20 years ago, she was 14 and an exchange student in Vancouver.
It was late September and Thomas had invited her to a party, someone’s birthday party. She didn’t know them as she was new to the school but she thought she should surely be able to make some new friends and get to know her classmates. Thomas was one of them. He loved to entertain people and brought life into their classes, was very popular and outgoing and seemed to be friends with everyone. Jennifer thought he was cute.
The party seemed fun but Jennifer felt a little lost and just observed everyone for a while. They were in the birthday boy’s living room, music was playing, there were balloons and tables with drinks and snacks. She saw Valerie from her history class dancing with some friends and Bruce from biology talking and laughing. Katie looked like she could be Thomas’ girlfriend but she wasn’t sure.
She decided to go say hi to Thomas.
“Hey, having fun?”, he asked her.
“Yeah. I’m trying to. You seem to be quite the entertainer.”
“You think? I don’t know, I just want everyone to have fun, be happy and enjoy their time, at school or at parties.”
“You’re very good at that.”
Thomas smiled. “Thank you. I’m glad to hear that.”
Jennifer looked around one more time and noticed someone she hadn’t noticed before. There was a boy sitting on a couch reading a book in a quiet corner of the living room.
“Who is that over there? He looks just like you.”
Thomas turned his head. “Oh that’s my nerdy little twin brother Jonathan.”
“Why is he sitting there all alone?”
“He’s shy and a little complicated. Also very smart, he’s two classes above us. I think he just came because I asked him to. Just let him read his book and he’ll be happy.”
“You know what? I think I’ll go say hi. He sounds interesting.”
“Well, good luck. But don’t scare him or I’ll come after you.” Thomas said and winked.
Jennifer was a bookworm herself and had started to write some short stories and fan fiction and becoming a writer was a dream of hers, or a doctor. Maybe both.
As she walked towards him she took a closer look. He was wearing jeans and a black hoodie sweater, she was wondering what book he was reading. He was too lost in the book to notice her taking a seat next to him on the couch.
“Must be a great book.”, she said, hoping to start a conversation.
Jonathan looked up shyly, trying to avoid eye contact. “Yes, he replied and got back to his book.
“What are you reading?” Jennifer didn’t want to give up but she also didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable so she was ready to back off if he really didn’t want to talk.
He seemed surprised that she was still there but still showed her the book cover. “It’s Good Omens by Pratchett and Gaiman.” He had a quiet voice.
“Really? That’s awesome. I’ve read that, it’s one of my favorite books.”
“No spoilers, please.”, he said with a hint of a smile. This time she caught his eyes, they were deep blue but there was something else. Something deep down seemed sad and broken.
He quickly turned his eyes back to the book in his hands. He had noticed her look.
“I’m Jennifer.”
“So you’re the exchange student my brother talked about.”
“I guess I am.”
“I’m .. uhm.. my name is Jonathan. Please don’t call me Jon”
“Okay… Jonathan. Nice to meet you.”

That’s how it all started. Jennifer was still in her desk chair holding the book, pressing it to her chest. They had spent a lot of time together after they met at the party. They talked about books and TV shows, went to book stores and libraries. He taught her things about the universe, space and time that she had never heard of, she taught him to laugh and smile and not to be afraid of being who he is. She smiled softly, still lost in memories and didn’t notice Jonathan coming into the room.
“Hey, how was your day?”, he asked her before bending over to pick up something off the ground and put it on her desk “I think you dropped something.” It was her pen. She never thought to look on the ground.
“Oh my gosh, thank you. I was looking for it everywhere. What would I do without you?”…

9.02 – Devil May Care

Wie soll man sich denn bei der Folge für ein Bild entscheiden? CROWLEY ist großartig, wie er im eigenen Saft schmort, ABADDON + DEAN sind sexy, und SAM mit blauen Angel-Eyes … are so many Feelings!

The opposite of a problem…

Jennifer drove the car into the garage after she got home from work. Her day had gone quite well and she felt good about the work she had done but she really looked forward to getting home to Jonathan, who had only been released from the hospital a few weeks ago. It was good to have him back.
As she opened the door leading into the house from the garage she smelled something sweet coming from the kitchen.
“Hey, welcome home.”, Jonathan said when he saw her. He was putting a cheesecake on the table but… it looked like it was the 4th one. There were 4 cheesecakes on the table.
“Uhm hey… so you’ve been baking I see? Nice.”
“Yeah well, I really wanted cheesecake and I couldn’t decide which one to make and I was bored anyway so I just made all of them… I’ve got lemon cheesecake, salted caramel cheesecake, white chocolate cheesecake and Oreo cheesecake.” he proudly explained.
Jennifer chuckled. “I can see that.”
The cakes looked delicious, Jonathan was a good baker. She just wasn’t sure if 4 weren’t too many.
“Who is going to eat all that?”, she asked him.
“Don’t worry about that. It’s not a problem at all.”
She smiled. “Okay, just don’t complain about tummy ache later. And now give me some.”

Maybe… (part 8)

Jennifer almost ran all the way back, down the street and she finally reached her house.
She pulled the keys out of her pocket and for a moment she was scared that they wouldn’t fit again but she had checked the mailbox and saw her name, Jonathan’s name and Anne’s name on it. She was home, this was her house and she opened the front door.
She was greeted immediately by Lyra, one of their cats. She had missed the cats so she picked up Lyra and gave her some cuddles when she heard someone in the kitchen.
It was Jonathan and she was so happy to see him that she didn’t even know what to say or do.
“Hey, we decided to come back early, the conference was completely pointless. Where have you been?”
Jennifer put down the cat. “I just took a very long walk.”, she said as she almost ran towards him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I was afraid I’d never see you again…” Jennifer told him not letting go of the hug. She just needed to feel him and his warmth and love.
“Why? It was just a conference…”
“It’s a long story and I’m going to tell you all about it later.”
After a few minutes she finally let go. “I love you and I missed you so much.” , she said which made Jonathan give her a worried look.
“How about I make you breakfast? Would you like some pancakes?”, he asked.
“That would be amazing.”

The End…

Maybe… (part 7)

The sun was slowly rising as Jennifer and the alternate universe’s version of Jonathan walked through the woods again, hoping this time the portal would open up again. The conditions were the same as the morning Jennifer crossed over, the time was right, everything seemed to be the same, the light of the raising sun, the light morning mist, the noises, even the temperature.
Jonathan was quiet. Jennifer knew that this whole experience must have been gotten to him, too. He heard about an alternate reality where his brother was still alive, where he was married and had quite the successful career. He didn’t seem happy, there was an underlying sadness in everything he said and did. Like his life was missing something. She hoped that she didn’t make him feel even worse.
“What are you going to do once this is over?”, she asked him.
“I don’t know…go on with my life, I guess.”
“As if nothing happened?”
“What else am I supposed to do?”
Jennifer smiled. “You could get a cat. Or… I don’t know, maybe try to find alternate me somewhere.”
“Huh. I never thought about that. Maybe…”
“Well, whatever you decide to do, I hope you find happiness.”
“Thank you.”
They continued to walk for a few minutes until they reached the place again and this time Jennifer saw the flickering of the mysterious light again. She was relieved and didn’t want to consider the possibility that she could cross over into an entirely different alternate reality, after all there was an infinite number. No, this brought her here, it had to bring her back, it just had to.
Jonathan’s scientific curiosity made him examine this place but apparently he couldn’t really find anything unusual.
“I can’t explain this. Where did this come from? Why is it here?”
“I don’t know, I’m not sure I want to. All I know is that I’m going in there and this will take me home.”
She took a deep breath and was ready to go. “We’re probably never going to see each other again. Not like this.. So, thank you for your help and fare well. I hope you’ll find what you’re missing.”, Jennifer said to him, not sure if this was the right thing to say.
“Well, we’ll see. It nice meeting you. Good bye.”
Jennifer started walking towards the light.
“Oh wait. Please tell my alternate self something… tell him not to trust them… he will know what that means when the time comes…”
Jennifer was confused, what could be be talking about? But she just agreed to do it and stepped into the lights…

Maybe… (part 6)

Part 6

The apartment was big for one person and crammed with books. It reminded Jennifer a little bit of where she and Jonathan used to live before they bought the house. It was tidy and clean and it seemed comfortable. This place missed a cat though, Jennifer thought, he should get a cat.
There was a large framed picture of a beautiful mountain lake on the living room wall, probably a place somewhere in Canada.
Jennifer stepped towards the window. “You’ve got a nice view.”, she said looking at the trees with the ocean in the distance.
Jonathan came into the living room with two mugs in his hands and handed one to Jennifer. “Here’s your tea. The view was one of the reasons that … we…chose this apartment.”
Jennifer could tell he still wasn’t over the break up but she was sure that he would be eventually.
Both sat down on the couch. Jennifer wanted to tell him so many things about his other self, about her Jonathan but at the same time she knew it was probably not the best idea. They were quietly drinking their tea for a while until Jonathan broke the silence.
“So… do you know what your alternate version here is up to?”
Jennifer remembered the one single Facebook profile she found earlier.
“I couldn’t find out much but it looks like she’s a doctor somewhere in Germany. She probably didn’t have a reason to come back to Canada since she didn’t meet you there. She’s single, probably too busy for a relationship. That’s all I know. I would like to learn more about her but… I also just want to go back home.”
“We’ll get you home somehow. I mean, you came here so there must be a way back, and we’ll find it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You must be tired, I think we should turn in and go back to the place in the woods first thing in the morning.”
Jennifer agreed. She was exhausted and it’s been a long day, she needed some sleep.
Jonathan gave her a pillow and a blanket so she could sleep on the couch, he also brought her one of his flannel shirts to wear for the night and said she’d wake her up in time.
So now she was lying on the couch in the dark in a strange apartment trying to fall asleep.
But her mind was racing trying to process everything that had happened and worrying what would happen if she never could go back. What would she do? She didn’t even exist in this reality, her alternate version existed but she didn’t. Would she just change her identity and get a job somewhere, was that possible? She pictured all kinds of scenarios. No. She would get home, she had made plans, right? She’d see her husband tomorrow and never go into the woods again.
She noticed that the shirt she was wearing smelt like her Jonathan, both of them had the same scent. It made her feel warm and safe and after what felt like hours she finally fell asleep…

Maybe… (part 5)

Jennifer walked along the path through the woods that was so familiar but she was not alone this time. She had met up with Jonathan after he had finished work and they decided it would be the best thing to just go back to the place where she crossed over, to that mysterious light.
He was walking next to her but they haven’t been talking a lot, he was very quiet.
“Tell me about him.”, he finally said breaking the silence.
“About who?”
“Your husband. The other me. What’s he like?”
“Well… he’s a wonderful husband, for one. He’s fun, smart, kind. He bakes when he’s stressed.”, Jennifer answered, she didn’t really know what he wanted to know exactly.
“How did you two meet?”
She smiled as she remembered that day. “We were 14 and I was in Vancouver as an exchange student for half a year. Thomas was friends with the daughter of my host family and one day he introduced me to his weird little twin brother. And that’s how it all started.”
“Huh, so since Thomas was… gone… we never met, I assume. It’s interesting to think about. I wonder… would you have met if he had never been kidnapped?”
“I don’t know. Maybe not. What about you? Have you ever been married or thought about getting married?”
“Well… not really, I don’t know. I just broke up with someone a few months ago. We had been together a long time but… turns out he cheated on me for years and I never noticed anything. So he moved out and I haven’t seen him since.”
“If you don’t mind me asking… what was his name? Was it Gary?”
Jonathan looked at her. “Yes. How did you know?”
“Let’s just say that Gary came into my husband’s life, too. We were young, they had a thing. Anyway, it ended with Gary leaving town and that was it.”
She shrugged.
“Oh wait, this is the place.”, Jennifer said as they reached where the portal was. “I recognize the crooked dead tree over there.”
They walked to the spot but there was nothing, no light effects. It looked as if nothing had ever happened.
Jonathan took out some measuring devices and examined everything but after a while he found nothing. “It’s just a normal place in the forest, I’m sorry. There’s nothing here that indicates anything is out of the ordinary.”
“Great, now what? I need to get home.”, Jennifer started to lose all hope.
“Maybe the conditions aren’t right, you said it was early morning and the sun was rising. It’s the evening now so maybe we could try it again in the morning. It’s just an idea but… don’t give up yet.”, he said.
Jennifer sighed. It was worth a try and what else was she supposed to do? The only way to get back was to find the portal and step through it again.
“Alright, what choice do I have? But…”
“What?”
“I don’t have a place to stay and no money for a hotel room… could I sleep at your place?”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”
“Please. I don’t need much, just a blanket and a couch, I won’t be in your way.”
He took a few seconds to answer. “Okay. Let’s go. But only if we can stop for dinner somewhere before we go home. I’d kill for a salmon burger right now…”
Jennifer chuckled and looked at him in disbelief. “You eat fish?”

Maybe… (part 4)

Jennifer chose a seat that overlooked the entire cafeteria so that she wouldn’t miss him. If he showed up at all. He didn’t say an exact time and she just sat there for a few hours waiting, thinking, watching people come and go and drinking coffee.
What if he couldn’t even help her? What if nobody could help her and she was stuck in this universe forever? She didn’t even want to entertain this thought. Of course she would get back home to her own world, see her husband again and give him the biggest hug. And then they would go out for dinner and spend a nice evening at the beach.
Making these plans made her feel a little better.
Another 20 minutes later he entered the cafeteria, alone. He seemed insecure and the way he walked was different, subdued, trying not attract any attention. When he saw her he seemed surprised to actually see her there but approached her table nonetheless.
“Hello. I guess if you waited this long then it really must be important?”
“Please sit down.”, Jennifer requested. He sat down on the chair opposite of her.
“I don’t even know who you are…”
Jennifer tried to think of the best way to answer this. She couldn’t just start with “Hey, I’m your wife from another universe” Would he even believe her? She never really thought of that. He had to actually believe her crazy story. This got more complicated by the minute.
“Well, my name is Jennifer Ryan.”
“Nice to meet you. Apparently you already know my name.”
“I might know a little bit more than your name.” Jennifer looked at his hands, the wedding ring was missing, so weird to see. She looked back at her own wedding ring as if she was scared it wasn’t there. But it was still on her finger.
This universe’s Jonathan MacLean looked puzzled. She still hadn’t told him what exactly she wanted, hopefully he wouldn’t get impatient and just leave so she decided to just get to the point.”
“Okay, this may sound crazy and weird and impossible but… this morning something happened and I ended up in an alternate reality, this reality. Nothing is right, strangers live in my house, my phone isn’t working, this place is different, you are different…”
“An alternate reality? Are you sure you didn’t just have a bad dream? You’re right this sounds crazy…”
“I just want to get back home and you’re the only one I could think of who may be able to help.”
“Why me?”
“You’re a physicist, right? Seems like this would be right up your alley…”
“I’m not a good scientist, I’m nobody, I don’t even like my job…” Jonathan paused. “How do you even know me?”
Jennifer took a deep breath. “In my reality… we’re married.”
“To each other? Really? This entire thing really hard to believe and you know that.”
“Yes, I know. But how can I make you believe me.. and help me? I realize that I have absolutely no proof and there is no reason you should believe me but… I promise I’m telling the truth.” Jennifer knew this wouldn’t be easy but her hope started to fade, she tried very hard to fight the tears.
There was a minute of silence.
“If you really know me, then you should be able to tell me something only I would know.” Jonathan finally suggested.
“Well… I don’t know if you’re exactly the same. I already noticed a lot of differences.” Jennifer tried to think of something. There was something in her husband’s past that he couldn’t really talk about so maybe the same thing had happened here, too? She didn’t want to bring it but she had to.
“When you were a little child you were kidnapped and held captive for years.”
He glared at her. Did she hit a nerve? Was it too much?
“Actually… I wasn’t. My brother was. But only a few people know about this.”
“What?” Jennifer realized something. This must be what went differently. The other brother was taken and it had changed everything, at least the life that she knew.
“If you’re telling the truth… then it means that I was the one who was kidnapped in your reality…and my brother is still alive?”, his talked in a quiet almost shaking voice, this seemed to be getting to him.
“Yes, someone found you… him… after several years and he was able to escape. So Thomas didn’t, I mean your Thomas.?”
“No… he was never found, not even a body, just nothing…”
He looked at her with sadness in his eyes and then stood up.
“Alright… I will see what I can do for you, if you don’t m ind waiting till I’m off.”
Jennifer smiled. “No, I’ll wait.”
Jonathan walked towards the today. “Thank you.”, she said to him, hoping he would hear her. He turned around and gave her a sad smile then walked out the door…

Maybe… (part 3)

The institute looked the same, the hallways were familiar and she knew where Jonathan’s lab was, at least in her world. Should would just ask someone.
People glanced at her as she walked along the corridor, like they knew she wasn’t supposed to be here, not just because she was from an alternate reality but also because she walked into a research facility just like that without permission. She knew how to get in and apparently some things in this world were still the same.
As Jennifer entered the lab it looked very different though. It also looked busier and the people looked stressed. Nobody seemed to pay attention to her, they were too preoccupied with their work so she was able to look around. Some faces were familiar, most of them weren’t.
And then she saw them at the very back of the lab. Glenn was wearing a lab coat and looked angry, Jonathan looked… kind of nervous. She wanted till Glenn went into the lounge room and then she approached Jonathan. It felt so strange to her and she wasn’t even sure what to say to him. Did he not know her at all or had they met before? Maybe They had hated each other when they first met, maybe they had broken up. Whatever it was she would probably find out soon.
She took two steps towards him, but he didn’t notice her.
“Dr. MacLean?”, she said.
He looked up. “Uhm… not a doctor…”, he shyly replied and gave her a quick nervous smile. “What are you doing here? You don’t work for Dr. O’Brien.”
“No, I don’t work here but I need to talk to you about something very important. I need your help with something.”
Jonathan looked puzzled. “My help? Why? I don’t even know you.”
Jennifer heard some fast steps behind her. “Hey, MacLean! No chatting, get to work!”, Glenn yelled.
“I.. I’m working, sir..”, Jonathan replied. He turned to Jennifer and almost whispered. “Look, if you need something then we can talk in my lunch break, I’ll be in the cafeteria, okay?”
And then he left…

to be continued…

Maybe… (part 2)

The library was not very crowded and she could easily find a computer she could use.
After the house owners chased her away she just walked downtown. Luckily it was a small town so it didn’t take her too long. Their name was Dewitt and they had lived in that house for decades. They were not very amused by her visit and the things she had said.
Jennifer sighed. So what happened? Why was her house occupied by strangers? She had watched a lot of Star Trek and as a science fiction author herself she was not unfamiliar with the concept of alternate realities and this must be one. It was the only explanation she could come up with that made any sense. But how realistic was it? A physicist would probably know more and there was one she knew very well. Was he a scientist in this reality though? And did he even know her? What else was different? So many questions and that’s why she came to the library, the internet must know more.
Out of curiosity she entered her own name into the search engine, she just wanted to know what her alternate self was up to. What she found was… not much. Not even her books were mentioned anywhere, not her practice, nothing. All she found was an old Facebook profile with a handful of pictures of her and her parents. The place of work mentioned some small hospital somewhere in Germany that she had never heard of. AU Jennifer Ryan was probably leading a quiet boring life. She wondered what had gone differently.
Next she searched for her husband’s name and hesitated for a second. What if he didn’t exist or wasn’t alive? Did she really want to know?
Jennifer decided she had to know and she had to find him because she wanted to go back home as soon as possible. If it was possible at all.
The search results revealed that he was indeed alive. She was relieved. It turned out he even worked at the same research institute in Portland. Good. At least something. She had to go to the institute and hope he was there and that he was willing to help.
She closed the browser, left the library and spent some of her last cash on a bus ticket…

to be continued…